Dealing with dementia in your home can be the single most frustrating experience of your adult life. Depending on your view of aging, it can be bearable or intolerable. Whichever, until you can change the situation, here are some helpful, ethical tips on caring for your loved one, and importantly: yourself.

Completely stop reminding your loved one of anything. You must find a way that satisfies your ethical need to transfer information without robbing your demented loved one of his dignity. Suggestion: Frame your comment to tell him what you want. If you frame your request as a question, both of you will become frustrated, impatient and resentful. Makes for a lousy relationship, and since this is an earlier vs. later stage of loss, make these the “good old days”. This plays off the famous Alzheimer’s Association’s phrase: “Dementia always wins.” Their advice: “Never fight with it, bargain with it, or argue with it…dementia ALWAYS wins.” You will truly win when you communicate in this new way.

Phrase your comments in the affirmative. Affirmation is actually a form of love, the key to happy aging, and a communication technique used by caring people throughout their lifespan. Example: When looking at photographs of a trip you both took: “We saw this place together in 1986 and loved it!” You are remembering it for him; if he has a memory to add, he will. Give him your joy and enthusiasm, sharing the experience through your eyes for the both of you. Chances are, he will respond with his own good feelings, whether he can add to the memory or not. Good news/bad news: The older the memory, the better chance he will remember it; the newer the memory (like yesterday’s dinner or last Thanksgiving) probably didn’t stick.

Tell him what you want him to do. He will do it if he can because he loves you; or because he realizes you are part of his present environment, so you must be important. Suggestion: When you stay consistently patient, and repeat your request like you are saying it for the first time, he will probably try to do what you ask. Whether he remembers that he loves you or that you love him is less the point. If you are a kind human in his new world, that usually is enough for your demented loved one.

When he is sure he is right, let him be right; unless there is danger to life and limb. When I was my wonderful mother-in-law’s 24/7 caregiver, I learned the key to speaking successfully to dementia. Early on, I had to take her car keys away, but refused to take her dignity, too. So I came up with the axiom: “Speak Mom. Do Right.” The concept: “Listen and affirm, then DO what’s ethical.” Using a form of emotive therapy, which affirms the feelings of the patient though not necessarily appealing to the cognitive self, communicate your agreement with what your loved one is really trying to tell you. By using emotive therapy, you, the caregiver, can connect in a positive and enthusiastic way to your loved one’s feelings and new communication style: his less-than cognitive speech.

Example: Mom, who held a PhD and was a practicing psychologist for many years, in time became fascinated with nature as she observed the great outdoors in our backyard. Dogs, cats and birds filled her days with joy. The trees swayed in the wind until the yearly trimming, when she mourned that loss as if a natural disaster had befallen us: she didn’t remember that trees grow back. One day, Mom exclaimed admiringly, “My, how purple the grass is today!” My happy response was: “I just love that shade, don’t you?” She was so pleased! She “knew” I got it, which meant she had communicated it correctly. Her feeling of accomplishment was a moment I will remember a long time!

Celebrate his accomplishments of today, today. Tomorrow will bring its own challenges, so tell him when he does something well. Find ways to help your demented loved one feel good about himself. Suggestion: Waiting to recap the day’s events will become frustrating if you are expecting him to remember his victories of just a few hours ago. He might not remember breakfast, that you worked your hindquarters off this afternoon cleaning his favorite space, or that you served him a yummy dinner. He likely will start the day tomorrow putting on the exact same clothes he took off tonight, unless you toss them in the washer when he falls asleep or at least is tucked into bed. When you can celebrate the moments for the sake of bringing celebration into both your lives, you will ease both of your cares. Don’t forget, he probably knows he is dementing. He is probably trying to “be good” for you!

If he starts “sundownning”, get help immediately! “Sundownning” means getting confused when lighting changes. When the sun sets for the day, demented people with sundowner syndrome get confused and emotional. Sometimes the emotion is sadness or fearfulness, and sometimes it is an anger (which springs from fear) that can turn violent. In either case, call his doctor immediately and clearly communicate your loved one’s sundowner condition. Sedatives, herbal remedies, and acupuncture can help. If violence occurs, call 911 for paramedic assistance. Case history: In my husband’s elder law practice, one of his conservators reported a very, very sad turn of events for his family. His sister had moved into their mother’s house to care for her. In one of his weekly out-of-state calls, he asked to speak to his sister. “She’s taking a nap” was his mother’s reply, and he thought nothing of it, asking his mother to write a note for his sister to call him back, for which their mother still had capacity. Thinking his sister was busy caregiving, he called again the next day to speak to his sister. His mother’s response was the same: “She’s taking a nap”. He called the next-door neighbor, who reported nothing out of the ordinary, but admitting to not seeing his sister for a few days. Sensing a problem, the son flew into town and went straight to the house. Opening the lock with his key, he had to push hard to open the door. To his shock and sorrow, his sister’s body was lying cold, blocking the entrance. Their mother had entered a sundownning phase, and caught her frightened daughter from behind, hitting her on the head with a frying pan, and killing her. This story is severe, but true.

Dementia is a thief. No doubt about it. But it does not have to rob YOU any further; you can use your considerable skills to out-think it, out-maneuver it, and out-pace it. It will take monthly, weekly and daily planning, readjustment of your time, and using muscles in places you probably thought were already well-worked. Caregiving a demented loved one takes amazing love, patience, perseverance, grace and mercy. It will require self-love, too, for caregiving another requires you to rest, recreate, and respect yourself. Turning to family members, friends, social groups and community agencies designed for just this kind of assistance for times just as these are your best support network. When you can embrace this time in your life as honoring your loved one in the faithful ways you can, you will remember your own kindnesses and peace will follow.

For more information on Di Patterson, MSG as a family or business consultant, visit dipatterson.com or email her at di@dipatterson.com

“No one WANTS to age, but EVERYBODY wants to age well!” © Di Patterson, MSG, CPG

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Since Gerontologists are trained by significant study in the biology, psychology, sociology and ethics of aging, good Gerontologists can do the following for their aging clients and/or family members:

1. Determine specific needs of the individual based on his/her preferences and capacities in regards to social, environmental and lifestyle changes.
2. Promote successful aging* for the clients and their family members.
3. Identify potentials and probabilities for aging populations based on their specific parameters.

*Successful aging, defined in 1984 by Drs. Robert L. Kahn and John W. Rowe:
1. High physical and mental functioning;
2. Low risk of disease and disability;
3. An active engagement in life!

Success in aging®, as I define it, has three categories:

1. Proaction: Actively engaging with your aging process, choosing how you want to age.
2. Parameters: Realities of your health and your budget, and your choices within them.
3. Preferences: Your personal tastes and lifestyles, looking toward a joyful older age

I am a great believer in “getting off the couch” early when it comes to positive aging. The sooner we start to prepare and plan for our own old age, the better. Whatever your age, today is a great day to begin working toward your own success in aging. And you can!

Di Patterson, MSG, CPG, is a Gerontologist and the Founder of Success in Aging TV®, www.successinaging.tv, where the mission is to educate, motivate and inspire people of all ages to act now for their own success in aging! She won the 2008 Gold TV Media Award for Policy Makers Speak and 2009 and 2010 Mature Media Awards for New Website Products and Technologies. Di blogs at www.agewise.tv www.bullypulpit.com, is a featured speaker at www.speaktank.com, and a contributing expert as Gerontologist at www.seniorfamilynetwork.com and www.smartwomenscafe.com.

As co-founder and president of a Gerontologists’ networking non-profit: The Let’s Group®: Consulting and Consortium of Professional Gerontologists, www.theletsgroup.org, which is a provider of continuing education for NAPG www.napgerontologists.org. I believe that “Every company in America needs a Gerontologist on-staff or on-retainer!”

As an Aging Marketplace Consultant, Di Patterson offers her clients sound business strategies for the senior market; based on timing, trends, and demand for their products and services.

To make an appointment with Di Patterson, email her at di@dipatterson.com

©Di Patterson, MSG CPG “If good real estate is all about location-location-location, then success in aging is all about attitude-attitude-attitude!“

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That’s right, ageism directed at you by younger people who want your job or dislike you for a personal reason, or peers who deem you “less-than”; less-than their idea of positive aging, less-than what their need requires of you, and more demanding of you-name-it: your weight, your bank account, your spouse (or lack thereof), your politics or faith. Then there is self-ageism we practice when we don’t like what we see in the mirror and punish ourselves in some way. Love, in a word, is the answer. Here are a few love-in-practice anti-ageism techniques we can all get into.

Have mercy on elderly you see who struggle with things you don’t…and even more, if you do. Watch how often others treat seniors who are overweight, under-funded, or are hoarders; those who are trapped in handicaps of chance or of their own making. Those, whose children are oblivious; or worse, are negligent. Your mercy will be returned to you, as mercy and kindness are twins. Then, be kind enough to yourself to start the changes you’ll need to avoid the merciless rebukes of old age.

Pay attention to wonderful women who were widows too young (that comes at any age!), persevering with heavy hearts, and to the old men who were unprepared emotionally and practically to lose their wives in death that was supposed to happen to husbands first. They struggle to live alone, so pay them some kind attention and you will teach your own children that you will need some attention, too.

Make a plan and stick to it. The concept of “choice” after the age of 60 is really about two things: your health and your wealth, and how much of each you have to face your “golden years“. The next two decades can either be a joyful challenge or a dreary one. Chances are you will live out at least these twenty years. For your health, make a plan and stick to it about exercise, consuming fewer calories, and caring for your skin and teeth and eyes every single day! For your wealth, do a personal SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) analysis. Take some classes to open you to a field that will challenge your mind, open some opportunities for funding and allow you to socialize in positive ways.

Renew old friendships and cultivate new relationships. The emergence of social media for Boomers to aid in both these goals has been quite a phenomenon in the last few years! In lifespan development terms, the decade of a woman’s 50’s is her best decade: she has finished, for the most part, in the physical raising of her children, she has learned to manage her home like a business, she has earned respect in her career and workplace, and she has maintained and developed a lifetime of networking relationships. A woman in her fifties attains a life-satisfaction ratio that is very high compared to earlier decades of her life. The phrase “all pistons are firing” is apropos! Many women in their fifties “reboot” or “re-career” to find satisfaction and success in whatever they choose to do. The book, Vibrant Nation: What Boomer Women 55+ Know, Think, Do & Buy says it well: “Women in their 50s, 60s and beyond are breaking through the stereotypes of what it means to be an older woman. Where women could expect to become increasingly marginalized from mainstream society as they aged, they are now gathering strength and influence. This female age wave is already stirring up far-reaching impact on the workplace, the marketplace, the family, and the world at large. We’re getting to see firsthand what it looked like when the first generation of women who earned and managed their own money gets to rethink what work, retirement, and success can look like after 50.” (2010,xii)

Teach your children by example to nurture family relationships. Nurturing respect in family relationships in every phase of life is one of the best insurance policies we can have for a better aging. You would be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) at how many families become separated in their affections and philosophies once a parent or both parents pass away. My husband is a Probate, Conservatorship and Trust attorney who sees this all the time. The family structure suffers a severe blow in the loss of a parent. Even the strongest families can flounder; how can people really prepare for a loss they have never experienced? If we can find the grace to rise to our best selves, to keep reaching out to other family members, and to strengthen the good that is in our families, there is hope for better times ahead. These worthy goals are challenged by personal grief and sibling rivalries, which often creep in unaware. Don’t let this happen to your family!

A song by Crosby Stills and Nash from the 1970’s, Teach Your Children, says “You who are on the road/ Must have a code that you can live by/ And so become yourself/ Because the past is just a good bye/Teach your children well/Their father’s hell did slowly go by/ And feed them on your dreams/The one they picks, the one you’ll know by.” I think the message of this beautiful song–which tried to bridge the generation gap–was to encourage us to always realize our kids are watching and learning how to do life, and we always will have influence, be it positive or negative, in family relationships…and to choose good!

Ageism, in a word, sucks. Ageism, like every other prejudice, demeans its victims, separates us from the good in each other and spawns negativity in the hearts of humans. Facing ageism, like Alzheimer’s disease, is a cruel way to grow old. Ageism, because of human nature and the rapid upswing of aging Boomers, will only increase.

Now is the time to take action. No matter your age, starting today puts you ahead of the game. You really do want to avoid ageism’s grip: whether you are younger and tempted to practice it or when you yourself are old and suffer under its cruelty. For more information on ageism, go to http://ageismhurts.com

©2011 Di Patterson, MSG CPG “If good real estate is all about location, location, location, then success in aging is all about attitude, attitude, attitude!”

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Yes, the age of online shopping is here to stay. When a Boomer buys a major appliance online, it’s a big deal. We were raised by the Builder Generation: the people who wanted to see it, touch it, smell the new paint, and test it…because they basically didn’t trust it.

Our parents were classically loyal to brand names; we Boomers revel in choice and take a chance on new products. Dad bought only Fords. At age 84, his last car was a Crown Victoria. Mom raised us on Del Monte canned vegetables because her Mother raised her on them. It wasn’t because variety wasn’t available; it was brand trust and brand loyalty.

This is not news to Boomer marketers. The research is stunningly accurate on what Boomers want because of who we are: spontaneous, confident risk-takers, willing to work hard for things, ideas and values we cherish and admire. Even in our youth, the amount of money Boomers controlled enabled us to open new markets (designer jeans), inflate existing markets (bottled water), and deflate others (non-disposable diapers).

Boomers are a huge audience in an ever-growing online marketplace.

On April 29th, I will again be a media participant for the Boomer Business Summit: What’s Next 2011: a one-day gathering of premiere Aging businesses which meets at the annual joint conference of the American Society on Aging and the National Council on Aging (ASA/NCOA). This year in San Francisco, What’s Next promises to be loaded with online entrepreneurs and sessions highlighting what to sell and how to market to Boomers.

This conference is self-described as “an annual event that brings together the country’s top businesses and organizations that are thought leaders in the baby boomer marketplace. It is where deals get done. No other conference brings together a dedicated group of professionals focused on the boomer and senior populations. Together this group of thought leaders from the non-profit sector, senior advocacy organizations, and Fortune 100 companies to entrepreneurial start-ups will share their knowledge and passion for this important customer demographic.”

I like the “thought leaders” concept, and have to admit that’s exactly why I return year-after-year. As promised, What’s Next Boomer Business Summit draws companies that showcase products and services that are good for seniors and their Boomer kids. My own brand, Success In Aging®, is all about thinking ahead, and I support those companies that encourage aging people to make a plan and work the plan for their own success in aging.

Okay, I admit it: I bought the machine from Sears, a GenBuilder hang-out. Kenmore, their own brand, has proven reliable over the years, and I have owned many a Kenmore. But this time, I knew I wanted a Whirlpool Gold: quiet, energy efficient and parts are readily available. I knew search-engine marketing would not let me down either.

So this Boomer-ette was confident in her quest. Within the span of the DVR-ed movie Husband had settled on for the evening, I had chosen, ordered, scheduled and paid for the machine that will soon grace our kitchen and relieve us of our sadly quiet, kaput Kenmore.

Fortunately, I also had the good sense to call Sears when their website kept spitting at me when I tried to modify one simple (I thought) area of the order. Moral of the story: shop to your heart’s content, but before you enter credit card info on that big ticket item, call a human on the other end of that screen, just in case.

I might be a spontaneous, confident risk-taker, but I really don’t want to hand-wash that many more dinner dishes. I want to see that new dishwasher…and touch it, smell the new paint, and test it…because I basically want to trust that I made the right online choice.

© 2011 Diane Alexander Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then ‘success in aging’ is about attitude, attitude, attitude!” www.SeasonofLife.net

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As we head into the New Year, I am concerned with the over-use of the word absolutely these days. It just seems to be everywhere. Radio and television talk-show hosts throw it around as if it proves their point. Media guests respond with firm “Absolutely!” when their host confirms that he or she shares his or her opinion. But we are tossing around a concept that is far too important for the giddy way it has been used, since absolute has positive and negative characteristics.

Absolute is both a scientific and social term, both proven by research, both requiring validity, and both somewhat removed from the emotional exclamation “Absolutely!” some are fond of. Mathematically, absolute means “complete, measurable, real and quantitative” (1). Socially, absolute is “an important goal: as close to complete, perfect, consummate, and faultless as humanly possible” (2).

Here is a short and fast list of science’s absolutes:

Absolute value (Mathematics) describes the distance of a number on the number line from 0 without considering which direction from zero the number lies. The absolute value of a number is never negative (3).

Absolute zero (Chemistry) is the point where no more heat can be removed from a system, according to the absolute or thermodynamic temperature scale (4).

Absolute location (Geography) is the definitive location of a place using a recognized coordinate system (5).

Absolute equation (Astronomy) is the sum of the optic and eccentric equations (6).

Absolute temperature (Physics), the temperature as measured on a scale determined by certain general thermo-dynamic principles, and reckoned from the absolute zero (7).

Absolute space (Physics) is space considered without relation to material limits or objects (8).

Absolute terms (Algebra) are known terms which do not contain an unknown quantity (9).

Absolute alcohol (Chemistry) means pure and unmixed (10) (not to be confused with Absolut, which does a pretty good vodka business).

Here are definitions of the social quantifying of absolute:

Absolute perfection is opposed to relativity (11).

Absolute beauty is without comparison (12).

Absolute truth is unconditioned and non-relative. It is the opposite of relative truth, which is perceived through comparison (13).

Absolute promise or command has no modifying influences and is without comparison (14).

Absolute authority, monarchy, sovereignty or power (or absolute monarch) is described as authority free from any limitation or condition, and it is uncontrolled, unrestricted, and unconditional (15) (sounds rather Dark Ages, doesn’t it?).

Absolute’s social synonyms sound wholesome enough: “positive, certain, unconditional and authoritative” (16). But absolute also means “unlimited, unrestricted, unqualified, arbitrary, despotic, peremptory, and autocratic” (17). Socially, then, absolutes are more about importance, the term for measurements relative to human trends.

Having two degrees in Science, I think in terms of input and outcomes that are measurable, and therefore, provable. In social science, we prove absolutes, or importance, by significance. Significance is another mathematical term, using statistics for its validity (18). Because human nature is not scientific and our collective opinion can fluctuate due to changes of circumstance or by whim, social statistics build-in a percentage of error for a safety net. Enter the bell curve.

I love the bell curve. When a population is located within the bell curve, that number is statistically significant: a large, positive number with a negative out-lier population in quantity so small it is considered to be utterly unimportant (19). It is wise to consider that outliers can cause great social disturbance if given too much credibility.

The bell curve reminds us to pay attention to significance. There is no absolute, or perfection, in the bell curve. It is a collection of a majority; of significance. Significance is not absolute; significance is more a human concept. In this age of technology, we can lose the beauty of the human element by expecting absolutes. Losing our humanity would be the great tragedy of this era of time, and doom us to a life found in a bad sci-fi film. So behind my objection to responding “Absolutely!” to a question regarding an opinion is the dilution of meaning of something as strong as absolute. Are we “absolutely sure” or “absolutely certain”, or is it just a “best-guess”? “Absolutely!” is a crystallized answer implying that something is clear, certain—and without doubt—true.

What’s true in older age is really true in younger age; people just don’t tend to see aging truths until they approach somewhat older age themselves. “Older age” is also relative to the person doing the aging. More and more, younger people are paying attention to the principles of success in aging. When we realize the significance (mathematically speaking) of taking positive steps now to have a good older age later, we can put our New Year’s resolutions into real action. What we do in 2011 and beyond will build better tomorrows for our children and certainly for ourselves. We will teach by example (and, hopefully, have some good face-to-face conversations, too) when we make wise physical, financial, and personal decisions for our own older age.

My hope is that the professionals we turn to for truth and fair assessment will use the term absolutely less frequently and with more objective scrutiny. We sell ourselves too many products and services to assume perfection. This is a call to prove what is worthy of our time, talent and resources so that they don’t slip away unnoticed… Absolutely not!

I do, however, want to wish YOU an absolutely wonderful New Year!

1. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absolute

2. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absolute

3. www.eduplace.com/math

4. www.chemistry.about.com

5. www.worldatlas.com

6. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Absolute+equation

7. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/absolute

8. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/absolute

9.  http://chemistry.about.com/od/dictionariesglossaries/g/bldefabzezo.htm

10. http://www.chemistrydaily.com/chemistry/Absolute_value

11. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absolute

12. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absolute

13. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absolute

14. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/absolute

15. http://ask.reference.com/related/Absolute+Monarchy?qsrc=2892&l=dir&o=10601

16. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/absolute

17. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/absolute

18. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/significance

19. http://www.willamette.edu/~mjaneba/help/normalcurve.html

© 2010 Diane Alexander Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then ‘success in aging’ is about attitude, attitude, attitude!” www.SeasonofLife.net

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As a Gerontologist, a social scientist who studies research, trends and the promotion of successful aging specific to ages 60 and above, I have a pretty good understanding of older age groups. In a previous blog, I rattled on about all sorts of (and sometimes irreverent) names we use for older adults. In an attempt to avoid ageism, that nasty prejudice that pits the elderly against everyone else, today I want to get a little academic.

The clinical (and tough-to-hear) identifying verbiage for older adults are the following terms: the young old: ages 65-74; the old (but I like to say just plain old!): ages 75-84; and the very old: ages 85-100+. Older adults hate these terms; I know this because they keep telling me! The most common reason that much-older people hate the word “old” is because some younger people (and sometimes they themselves) equate “old” with “frail”, and just because we are old does not mean we are frail.

The frustration of facing another prejudice—the aforementioned ageism—is disheartening to older adults, many of whom are still working on conquering genderism, racism and/or religious prejudice. Disheartening is too gentle a word. All of us will be old, and you’d think we’d start fighting ageism early. Silly as it is, we don’t look forward often because we are in denial of our own aging! Let’s face it; being old is not the most popular thing to think about.

But, let’s do face it. Let’s think about our own old age as something to enjoy rather than just fear. There are things to look forward to in every age. But since we can’t avoid it, let’s take steps now to make it better. And better is really good in old age.

Many people see age 65 as an “easing up” of daily rat-racing, and anytime after they can afford to stop working as the “golden years.” The thought of easing-up instead of “retiring” is positive to most Boomers; this generation is marked with a can-do attitude and a spontaneous nature. Negatively, only a little more than half were on track with retirement savings before the beginning of the New Recession (2008-2010). Now everyone is behind where they hoped to be financially. Another component to Boomers working longer is that they don’t particularly want to retire if they don’t have to; a more palatable idea is “exploring their options”. Boomers really do see themselves as more vibrant than their own images of “senior citizens”.

Any Gerontologist will tell you that the Builder Generation of our great country were good savers, and looked forward to passing assets onto their Boomer children. These funds will help defer the 2008-10 losses in Boomer retirement accounts and for those who haven’t yet saved enough for their older age. It is critical to have legislation to protect this interfamily gifting, because the same day that the “Age Wave” hits America, 1-1-2011, the national estate tax ceiling plunges to the lower levels of a decade ago. Then, dramatically on 1-1-2012, heirs will be taxed on every dime their inheritance!

The real test of the metal of Baby Boomers will be in the way we use the wealth we are about to inherit. I would like to see “the metal” become “the medal”; that badge of courage to forego the possibilities of the present to prepare ourselves for the realities of the future. Being “old” may seem like a long way off; but being in denial that we will get there is just a waste of precious time. May we all be well-prepared to enjoy those “golden years”!

© 2010 Diane Alexander Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then ‘success in aging’ is about attitude, attitude, attitude!” www.SeasonofLife.net

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When people respond to my self-introduction (usually with a “What the heck is a Gerontologist?”), I say: “A Gerontologist studies and promotes the successful aging of human beings, and I am so glad you asked!” I explain my specialty within the field (basically hitting the high points) and ask, “How about you?” She or he then has a chance to tell me his or her story, and I can tailor my Aging comments as it relates to that person. Light bulbs go on, and a real conversation begins.

My tips for 30 Gero-Seconds of Success:

♦Begin by introducing yourself into a mirror repetitively, concentrating on your cadence, attitude and eye contact. Think of a creative way to explain gerontology that touches the person you might be talking to.

♦Practice often, and (I know you do this already) make sure to communicate your empathy and interest with your voice and your eyes (warmth attracts even the chilliest of personalities). The key is practice, practice, practice!

♦Never underestimate enthusiasm. The Latin root of “enthusiasm” is “en Theo”, or “of God”. What a grand thought! Enthusiasm communications joyfulness and confidence, and leaves people with sense of well-being and affirmation. Basically, it rocks.

♦Be authentic. Communicate who you are and what an employer could expect from you. Let both the excellence of your work and the integrity of your character shine through. That is the winning combination!

♦Be brief. Remember, it’s only thirty seconds. You want them to have time to tell you what they do, what older adult they might have in their lives, and what aging hopes and fears they are encountering. When you know those things, you can tailor your comments to their needs, their job requirements.

♦Be humble. Your thirty gero-seconds are really about your usefulness to other people. Gerontologists will change the world in the next fifty years of the Boomer lifespan. Be the person who gets the job!

© 2010 Diane Alexander Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then ‘success in aging’ is about attitude, attitude, attitude!” www.SeasonOfLife.Net

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A popular saying in both American business and non-profit America is Follow the money. In scientific research when we find a hot topic, a lot of money has been poured into the compilation of good information surrounding it. In the last five years, the most noteworthy medical funding has certainly been spent for questions and answers about internal inflammation.

As a Gerontologist, I also agree that the most important health concern in aging surrounds internal inflammation; the evidence is overwhelming in our daily lives. There is now solid and multiple research to show that internal inflammation “drives” the diseases of heart, lungs, stroke, cancers, diabetes, and obesity. Just as insidious are arthritis, asthma, allergies, chronic pain, fibromialgia, and eczema.

As a social scientist whose specialty in Aging also crosses into the medical field of Geriatrics, I can assure you that a concept as large as healing such a huge medical problem carries with it major social implications as well. The proof of the high degree of internal inflammation in our present society’s health outcomes are everywhere; even escalating rates of childhood diabetes, obesity and allergies abound. The irradiation, or even just a sharp reduction, in the diseases that present themselves in the presence of internal inflammation would rid our families and our country of the severe financial, emotional and physical price we pay for empowering our healthy bodies’ enemy.

In my studies, I have found some wonderful truths that I want every aging person to know about internal inflammation. When I read for new research developments, I come across some really good information I want you to be aware of. The first important find: for most of us, internal inflammation begins with what we eat.

A must-read to understanding more about internal inflammation is Inflammation Nation by Floyd Chilton, PhD and Laura Tucker. In it, they explain how some foods cause more internal inflammation than others…like farmed salmon, turkey and egg yolks.

Whoa, really? These are some of the very foods we Americans talked ourselves into believing were the best for us in the last fifteen years! They are low in fat and zero in sugars. Turkey is high in potassium. Eggs yolks are in almost every baked good we consume. Isn’t salmon one of the richest sources in omegas, and aren’t omegas good for us?

These are the right questions. The answers are simple. In brief, according to Dr. Chilton, it’s the way that the foods react inside us that create internal inflammation. Farmed salmon is fed corn and soy; two grains that for humans are nutritious and beneficial. In salmon, however, corn and soy create a chain of 9-6-3-omegas that mutate into dangerous levels of internal inflammation in humans bodies. More than about four ounces of farmed salmon every four weeks (you read right!), his research shows, is poisonous to our good health.

Another dietary suggestion coming from the study of triglycerides: de-sugar and de-starch yourself as much as possible. Sugars play havoc with humans’ health, so read up on the pro’s and con’s of all sugars, including cane sugar, honey, fructose, and other sweeteners, and how our bodies process them. Combat a silent source of inflammation: yeast. Starches become sugar, and sugars produce yeast. Fiber binds yeast to it, so eat plenty of fiber and drink enough water daily to move it through your system.

If “we are what we eat”, let’s get informed, judicious and picky!

It comes down to the research. Next week, I will write about food intolerances and some nifty ways to outsmart chronic internal inflammation!

©2010 Di Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then success in aging is about attitude, attitude, attitude!”

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As a Gerontologist who studies and promotes the successful aging of human beings, I want to see all of us becoming more mindful of our decisions and activities as we age.

Gerontology is a social science that specifically addresses aging after 60, but I am a firm believer that positive aging begun early makes good sense. Paying attention to your future today, no matter what your age, is just the right thing to do (thank you, Quaker Oats and Wilford Brimley!).

Aging well—success in aging—is that activity we do that is birthed in our attitudes and spreads to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves.

In 1984, Drs. Kahn and Rowe defined “successful aging” and listed its three determining factors:

1. High capacity for physical and mental functioning

2. Low risk of disease and disability

3. An active engagement with life

You can guess which one of those I am going to talk about today! I address the third element and define “success in aging” as:

1. An active engagement in life (based on one’s preferences), which is consistent with how an individual wants to age as one grows older;

2. Aging well within one’s limitations (based on one’s realities), whatever they may be: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and/or financial;

3. The ability to make good decisions (based on good information), which allows pro-active participation with one’s own aging process.

There are so many variables in choices for positive aging; it is the good choices we make today that help us have better tomorrows. Being actively engaged with the things we can control—sound nutritional choices, good exercise habits, mental strengthening through new activities, dancing, laughter, volunteering, practicing friendship, and positive attitudes, to name a few—have been scientifically proven to make us more able to cope with the challenges that aging can and does bring.

Aging well within one’s own limitations—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and/or financial—can be one of the greatest testaments to our lives. Books and screenplays have been written around the concept of being able to attend your own funeral and hear yourself eulogized. To hear those closest to you praise your determination, kindnesses and wise choices is the epitome of a life’s celebration.

The importance of good information is foundational in making good decisions. When we actively seek out wisdom through good information, then use it to improve the quality of life for ourselves, those we influence and those who love us, we really do achieve success in aging.

©2010 Di Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then success in aging is about attitude, attitude, attitude!”

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My goal as a professional Gerontologist is to bring you a greater understanding of yourself while you are approaching your older years; and all of us are, one day at a time. You must read and arm yourself with relevant research. Good information is the best defense against wrong thinking, bad planning and procrastination. We tend to deny many issues and the challenges of aging before we get there ourselves.

You can make good decisions now that will help you age successfully and in doing so, you will lead by example: teaching the younger generations to care for themselves now and how to care for YOU well in your old age.

I define “success in aging” as:

1. An active engagement in life (based on one’s preferences), which is consistent with how an individual wants to age as one grows older;

2. Aging well within one’s limitations (based on one’s realities), whatever they may be: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and/or financial;

3. The ability to make good decisions (based on good information), which allows pro-active participation with one’s own aging process.

Here are seven strategies you can put into practice this week to help you look at your own aging in more positive ways. These easy steps will put you on the path to becoming a happier 80-year-old!

1. Eat well; whole foods, savory foods. Enjoy good food! Then make sure to exercise some way everyday to help your body put that good food to good use!
2. Sleep enough.  Treat yourself to a new mattress and/or new bedding. Rest is a huge need when good communication is essential…and when isn’t it?
3. Laugh often. If you have to, buy a laugh; rent a movie!
4. Practice your friendship skills. Friendship is a universally understood language.
5. Save money. Set a goal. Reward yourself with good retirement options for YOU.
6. Floss your teeth. Studies have proven that people who floss stay healthier in their elder years. In fact, dental plaque and arterial plaque are directly related.
7. Pray. Everyday, find that space of peace and connect with your Creator. Thank God for your life, for your elderly client, and for everything. Gratitude has been scientifically proven to reduce heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke.

©2010 Di Patterson, MSG, CPG “If good real estate is about location, location, location, then success in aging is about attitude, attitude, attitude!”

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